Warranty Card (in case you missed it)

By Allen Akin 
 
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AIRCRAFT-SPACE SYSTEMS-MISSILES

Important! Important!

Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase.

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

1. Mr. Mrs. Ms. Miss Lt. Gen. Comrade Classified Other

First Name Initial Last Name

Latitude Longitude

Altitude Password, Code Name, Etc.

2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?

F-14 Tomcat F-15 Eagle F-16 Falcon F-19A Stealth Classified

3. Date of purchase: Month Day Year

4. Serial Number

5. Please check where this product was purchased:

Received as Gift/Aid Package
Catalog Showroom
Sleazy Arms Broker
Mail Order
Discount Store
Government Surplus
Classified

6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:

Heard loud noise, looked up
Store Display
Espionage
Recommended by friend/relative/ally
Political lobbying by Manufacturer
Was attacked by one

7. Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:

Style/Appearance
Kickback/Bribe
Recommended by salesperson
Speed/Maneuverability
Comfort/Convenience
McDonnell Douglas Reputation
Advanced Weapons Systems
Price/Value
Back-Room Politics
Negative experience opposing one in combat

8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:

North America
Central/South America
Aircraft Carrier
Europe
Middle East
Africa
Asia/Far East
Misc. Third-World Countries
Classified

9. Please check the products that you currently own, or intend to purchase in the near future:

Product			Own 	Intend to purchase

Color TV			
VCR				
ICBM				
Killer Satellite		
CD Player			
Air-to-Air Missiles		
Space Shuttle			
Home Computer			
Nuclear Weapon
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all that apply:

Communist/Socialist
Terrorist
Crazed (Islamic)
Crazed (Other)
Neutral
Democratic
Dictatorship
Corrupt (Latin American)
Corrupt (Other)
Primitive/Tribal

11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?

Cash
Suitcases of Cocaine
Oil Revenues
Deficit Spending
Personal Check
Credit Card
Ransom Money
Traveler's Check

12. 

Occupation			You	Your Spouse
 
Homemaker				
Sales/Marketing				
Revolutionary				
Clerical				
Mercenary				
Tyrant					
Middle Management			
Eccentric Billionaire			
Defense Minister/General		
Retired					
Student
13. To help us understand our Customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:

Activity/Interest		You	Your Spouse

Golf					
Boating/Sailing				
Sabotage				
Running/Jogging				
Propaganda/Disinformation		
Destabilizing/Overthrow			
Default on Loans			
Gardening				
Crafts					
Black Market/Smuggling			
Collectibles/Collections		
Watching Sports on TV			
Wines					
Interrogation/Torture			
Household Pets				
Crushing Rebellions			
Espionage/Reconnaissance		
Fashion Clothing			
Border Disputes				
Mutually Assured Destruction

Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future -- as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.

Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:

 
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division
P.O. Box 800
St. Louis, MO 55500
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Last modified 13:20PM 08/2/95 Created by John Neystadt