- REMOVING CLOTHES:
- With partner's consent.............12
- Without partner's consent......187
- UNHOOKING BRA:
- Using two calm hands...............7
- Using one trembling hand........36
- GETTING INTO BED:
- Lifting partner...........................15
- Dragging partner along floor......16
- Using skateboard.......................3
- ACHIEVING ERECTIONS:
- For normal healthy man........2.5
- Losing erection.....................14
- Searching for it...................115
- PUTTING ON CONDOM:
- With erection....................1.5
- Without erection...............300
- INSERTING DIAPHRAGM:
- If the woman who does it is
- Experienced.......................6
- Inexperienced...................73
- If a man does it...............680
- Add (5) calories for retreiving it
from accross the room.
- POSITIONS ACCORDING TO NATIONALITY:
- Italian- Man on top, woman in
kitchen.........................26
- Russian- Woman on bottom,
- Man getting permission..........55
- American- Both on top...........60
- POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF INTERCOURSE:
- Bouncing.........................7
- Sliding around...................9
- Serious skidding................12
- Whiplash........................27
- ORGASM:
- Real............................27
- Faked..........................160
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- ORGASMIC INTENSITY SCALE:
- Shoes flew off............35
- Expression didn't change.........1/2
- Orchestra swelled.................6
- Birds sang
- Large birds......................7
- Small birds......................3
- Earth moved......................30
- PULLING OUT:
- After orgasm.....................1/2
- A few moments before orgasm......500
- PENIS ENVY:
- For woman..........................3
- For men...........................72
- GUILT:
- Despite no formal training, orgasm
comes easily, naturally............53
- You're enjoying sex, despite the
fact that other people are
starving...........................2
- Sex on your lunch hour.............3
- Putting it on expense account....20
- AGGRAVATION:
- Partner keeps showing plants.......5
- Partner insists on cuddling the dog
during foreplay...................14
- Partner just visited bathroom for
7th time..........................10
- Partner is taking phone calls......7
- Partner is making phone calls.....40
- GETTING CAUGHT:
- By partner's spouse...............60
- By your spouse...................100
- Trying to explain.................55
- Trying to remain calm............100
- Leaping out of bed................75
- Getting dressed in one motion....500
- Thanking partner quickly...........2
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