How to Give Presents
- Leave the price label on the present, or, better yet, put on one with a high price.
- "Forget it at home".
- Give them the one they gave you last year.
- Arrange with other guests so that you all bring identical pajamas as gifts.
- Give detailed description, how you've bought the present -
on which sale, show which defects it has.
- Give a shirt, say afterwards that you are very cold, put it on, and
- Say: "I had wanted to give you a VCR, but I changed my mind
when I saw this ashtray".
- Show up, stuff your face, don't bring a present, and don't
- Wrap your present in paper from herring - let them interpret it whichever way they want.
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Last modified 11:50AM 12/31/95
Created by John Neystadt